


The Red Dawn

by Mo_Coughlin (tazlwyrm)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Original Fiction, Overdramatising, Short Story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-07
Updated: 2018-12-07
Packaged: 2019-09-13 07:56:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16888620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tazlwyrm/pseuds/Mo_Coughlin
Summary: "Beyond the door, was thatthing. The horrid creature had taken the living room. I had no doubt that it was sculpting it into a filthy nest in which to wallow and brood. This was all about to end, either with the death of us or that monster. There would be blood, and new souls to take residence in the afterlife no matter the outcome."





	The Red Dawn

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for a humor writing course back in University and I just found it still hanging out on my computer. It made _me_ laugh anyway, so I thought maybe it could get at least a chuckle out of someone else and decided to share.

       It was supposed to have been a pleasant evening—terrible 80’s films and popcorn shared among friends. I looked to Jamie and Ashley as the three of us cowered in the ruined kitchen, tables and chairs upturned around us. Both of them were armed, their eyes wide with fear like the cornered prey that we were. The steady drip of the faucet into the metal sink rang out the tones that would serve as our final, dark requiem.

       Beyond the door, was that _thing_. The horrid creature had taken the living room. I had no doubt that it was sculpting it into a filthy nest in which to wallow and brood. This was all about to end, either with the death of us or that monster. There would be blood, and new souls to take residence in the afterlife no matter the outcome.

       I glanced through the crack between the door and its frame, and I saw it. Laying amidst the fibers of the shag carpet, plotting, was the Devil himself—the cockroach. It exuded a vile aura, hatred emanating from its very form. The light from the television glinted off its shiny, brown carapace; small, but powerful. Even the name of it struck fear into my heart— _cockroach_. Why would it take a name that sounded like some horrible, _horrible_  affliction of the body? What a ghastly offense to all other living creatures. It took all of my might to not heave at the sight of it. With a twitch of its greasy antennae, it turned to face me and I ducked backwards hastily to avoid its piercing gaze.

       “Did you see it, Chris?” Jamie asked, his hands shaking as they gripped the wooden rolling pin he held.

       Heaving a shaking sigh, I spoke. “It’s worse than I thought…I swear it’s the size of my thumb.”

       I held up the appendage for scale and my comrades gasped in disgust.  I began the process of swallowing my fear, not allowing the cockroach’s sick will to pervade my thoughts and make me falter. Our band of misfits needed a leader, one that possessed a deft hand and a strong voice to rally them against enemy forces.

       “We need to get rid of that thing, once and for all,” I said, standing tall and brandishing the aerosol spray can and lighter I had chosen as my weapons.

       “What should we do?” Ashley asked, suddenly seeming calmer than I would have expected. She was wielding a baseball bat—I had no idea where she had gotten it. The poor girl was terribly afraid of insects, but it looked as though she had poured all of her faith into my leadership. I hoped that I could count on her loyalty. We had been close since the days of our youth and now it was the time to test the true strength of that bond.

       I took in the sight of them. They were the bravest of warriors and my closest friends. My chest filled with pride as well as the dread that came with facing our possible demise.

      “We go in there and beat back against whatever the creature throws at us,” I said. “If it’s our last hurrah, then so be it.”

       The weight of the sullen silence crushed upon us, sagging our shoulders. Yet we still refused to lay our fears naked before the enemy, so we gathered ourselves. Lining up behind the closed door, we readied our weapons.

       “When the barricades drop, do all you can to corner the insect,” I ordered, speaking the simple plan I had concocted. “Then, I’ll light the bastard up.”

       “If I don’t make it out, tell my dog that I love him,” Jamie said, voice wavering as he spoke of his beloved companion. What I wouldn’t give to have had the large canine’s jaws on our side.

       Clasping a hand on his shoulder, Ashely offered her reassurance. “You can tell him yourself. I promise you that we will see the sun rise upon the battlefield by this night’s end.”

       “It’s been an immense honor to fight alongside such admirable warriors,” I said. “I hope to see you in some other life should tonight be a failure.”

       With that, I shouldered the door open. The three of us burst forwards with cries of fury that rattled the heavens. My foot raised, prepared to strike down upon the creature. But, we were forced to take pause.

       “Where is it?” Ashley gasped, her bat poised gracefully above her head.

       “Take defensive action!” I hollered.

        We stood in a circle, backs touching, eyes scanning the room for any sign of the cockroach’s attack. Suddenly, Jamie let out an ungodly screech that would haunt my dreams until my dying day. He leapt into the air like a startled feline.

       “My foot! It touched my foot!” he screamed, taking refuge up on the couch. How dare it even _think_ of touching him with its tiny, devilish legs? I saw it scurry beneath me and I stomped on reflex, roaring in anger. Ashely beat at it, catching the wooden end-table in process and denting it. Our attacks did nothing. I watched as the cockroach made its lightning-fast movements away from us. It was on the run. Jamie stepped down from his perch and we managed to chase it about.

       Eventually, the beast was corned and it seemed that victory was close at hand. I was prepared, inching closer to it with my lighter blazing and my finger prepared to press the trigger on the can. Then, the unthinkable happened. The cockroach _flew_. It rose into the air, beating its foul wings so fast that their movements were undetectable to our human eyes.

       Ashley screamed as it lunged towards her. She stumbled back, tripping and falling upon the coffee table. The cups of cranberry juice we had left behind in our haste to escape toppled. Their innards spread about her, soaking her clothes and dripping to the carpet where they pooled in crimson puddles of gore.

       I could only watch in horror as the cockroach then landed on Jamie’s arm. Driven mad by fear, he flailed about while he begged for me to get it off of him. He wouldn’t stay still long enough for me to assist. In his blind flight, he made his way back to the kitchen. His sock-clad feet betrayed him, sending him sliding into the counter. Hitting it at full force, he released a pained moan that was cut off as he fell to the ground.

       With one victim remaining, the cockroach scuttled onto Jamie’s still shoulder and took flight again. As it flew towards me—its beady eyes reflecting hunger for my blood—I raised my weapons once more and fired. Flames shot through the air and engulfed the wretch in their clutches. The small ball of fire swerved and hit the wall behind me before falling to the tiles.

       I snuffed out the remaining threat with my foot—I would not allow the cockroach’s death throes to set the house ablaze. Staring upon the charred corpse, I couldn’t bring myself to revel in my victory. We had won, but at what cost? _At what cost?_ The light of dawn filtered in through the Venetian blinds, bathing the battlefield in its red glow. I fell to my knees and wept.

**Author's Note:**

> My Tumblr is @monroecoughlin, if Tumblr doesn't disintegrate in the next couple weeks.  
> (If it does, or if you've jumped ship, I'm also "tazlwyrm" on Mastodon)


End file.
